It's probably bronchitis. I've been stuffed and coughing for weeks (either from a cold or allergies) but it has reached level 35 and evolved into Bronchitis. Lovely.
I have this love/hate relationship with being sick. I hate it because, obviously, I don't feel well. Right now my breathing is even more restricted than normal. When I get up to walk across the room, I'm winded. I went downstairs and that was a bad choice, because once I got up the stairs I was gasping for air (for perspective, there's less than 20 stairs). I don't sleep well because I'm coughing and wheezing. My environment is pretty toxic at the moment. But part of me almost likes being sick. People don't expect anything from you when you're sick. Nobody hounds you about the things you need to do, nobody demands to have your time, nobody asks you why you haven't done X yet. Instead, they tell you to rest. Sometimes I feel guilty when I take time to rest. There's so much to do, how can I possibly be resting right now? I'm letting people down. I'm irresponsible. I actually prayed during the school year that I would get really sick so that I would have an excuse to stop doing things (shocker, it didn't work. God made me learn how to deal with my own things). When I'm sick, I have the built in excuse to not do anything and rest, because i'm physically incapable of doing very much. Of course, part of me hates that. I really hate feeling useless and weak, which is exactly what happens when you're sick enough. I can't accomplish anything. I haven't even fully unpacked my room because I have to sit and rest after unstacking the boxes from move-out; I get too winded. I'm usually bad at accepting care from others. I'm much better at it when I'm sick. It makes it harder when there isn't someone around to take care of me and I still have to take care of myself even though I'm weak. But it really does remind me of my utter dependency on God. Even the days I think I'm strong and capable I'm really no better than when I'm lying on the floor gasping for air. I need Him jut as much, and I'm better at accepting everything He offers when I recognize how weak I really am. But I do hope I can breathe by the time staff training rolls around next week. I'd rather not infect my neighbors. Rachel Fruit and Labor P.S: Yeah, those were intentional subtle pokemon references. In pokemon Red and Blue for gameboy there's a rocket guy in Silph co. who says "that's right, KOFFING evolves into WEEZING!" As a kid, I got pneumonia right after I spoke to that guy in the game. For years I was convinced that talking to him made me sick. I usually battle every person I can, but I would always skip that guy because I was afraid I'd get pneumonia. My heart rate still increases when I battle him now (YES I STILL PLAY MY POKEMON BLUE)
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