I promise I'm not dead. I know that I almost never go so long without writing, but a lot has happened. A lot is new. I think all of you who read this know that going on IV staff didn't work out for me. My greatest fear came true: I could not get funded. No matter how many things I tried, I simply could not get funded. Which sucked. It sucked a lot. There's little I find so crushing as saying "God, I'm terrified because you're calling me to this thing, and I'm afraid it's not going to work out. But I'm trusting you, and I'm doing it whole-heartedly. No contingency plan, I'm going all in to what you've called me to," and then to have that fear realized. It's hard when God calls you to go through what feels like a failure, because it feels like betrayal. And it's not, obviously, because if God was calling you to that failure all along then He can't have betrayed you. But it does feel like it. Anyway. So I got a job. A real grown-up job. I'm doing Quality Assurance for a mega company that makes healthcare software. I've been there three weeks now and I think it's going to be fun. I basically get to try and break software in order to find the bugs, and advocate for anything I think a customer would need or want. And I get to work in a Harry Potter Library themed building (I swear I'm not making this up, this is my job now). I've moved to Madison, and I'm living with a lovely friend I met at IVLI 2012. Out apartment is old but cute. Here are some pictures: (I just moved in this week so it's not quite finished)
It's very odd. A year ago God was calling me to ministry-- and I do still believe that is true. But now I'm in a different city doing a different job, living a very different life than I thought I would be. Everything is different. Everything is weird. I don't know what's going on. But that's been the case for probably about 80% of my life since I've been a Christian. I guess I thought that part would go away as I matured and grew. Apparently it doesn't, and that's okay. Rachel Fruit and Labor
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November 2019
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