A funny thing happened the other day. I say "funny" because I laughed at myself really hard.
I get lots of emails now that I'm on staff, and even more so these past weeks because the school year creeps dauntingly closer. Some of them make me rather sad, because I get all excited only to realize that I'm not going to be there. However, I got one email this week that was a bit different. It was regarding some staff-like things that I AM going to get to do, like workshops and training and leading things. And I went into hyperdrive. This is how my thought process went as I read the sentences in the email. Keep in mind that I didn't slow down or stop reading-- my mind just flew through all these thoughts. "Alright, I'll pencil you in for that." I get to do a staff thing! Oh my GOSH I get to work with students on this! I get to lead a thing! I'm so passionate about this topic I cannot WAIT to help students see why it's important too! Oh, it will be great. I'll take them through these specific 3 points.... no, 5. Yeah, those 5 important points. To demonstrate each I'll use these examples.... I'm missing one, I'll think of it later. I'll start out with this activity to make them participate. Then content, then I'll give and example and have them critique me. I know exactly how I'll phrase it. The whole thing will take.... 10 minutes. Then they can have practice time with each other, and then with less than 10 minutes left we'll have some brave souls go in front of everyone. Perfect. Oh, I'll have to add a little mini thing near the end of my "lesson" for those that don't feel like this applies to them.... this is how I'll affirm the and encourage them. That will take my teaching time up to 15 minutes..... a bit too long I'll see if I can cut it down later. Boom. done. "You can use my materials or not." There's materials attached? Oh, that's a good idea, I might have missed something, so I can see if I've covered everything that needs to be covered in my lesson. I can double check my mental picture for my hand-out guide against the provided materials for formatting. Do I have to use official letterhead? That might be costly. What's the official font again? Am I responsible for making copies? I need paper. "We can touch base more whenever you want to start thinking about it" ................sorry, does that say "when"? That was the point in time I realized that I didn't need to be planning everything yet. It was cute, really, that they thought I WOULDN'T be thinking already. But then I laughed at myself. When I was an education major I absolutely loathed the lesson planning I did--and it wasn't even that much, because I had only completed Gate 1 when I left. Yet when I saw this email confirmation that I'd get to be working with students I flipped out and had the entire thing planned before I had finished reading three sentences. Passion doesn't always look like excitement. Sometimes passion looks like heartbreak over the brokenness of the thing you want to see redeemed. Sometimes it looks like your best "game face" as you determinedly work toward your goal, despite frustrating obstacles because passion is the only reason you're able to continue on. But I'm thankful that sometimes passion looks like excitement, because I needed to be excited about something this week. Even if it distracted me from more current and pressing tasks I need to do. Rachel Fruit and Labor
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The genocide in Gaza-- mass killings of Christians and Muslims that "aren't Muslim enough" by an extremist militant group.
The systematic, racialized terrorization in Ferguson in which people are being brutalized and attacked with tear gas and rubber bullets. Basic constitutional rights are being denied, and they are being treated with contempt. Now the KKK is there, and the police don't seem to be targeting them at all. The crowds are rioting and looting. A porn star was horrifically beaten by her ex-boyfriend and people are focusing on her, calling her a slut when she's been hospitalized for severe external and internal injuries because of the ex's actions And this is just some of it. This is all so unreal, that I don't really know what to do. How is this real? How can this actually be happening? How can the world still be in this state? I can't even comprehend the atrocities. I'm almost too overwhelmed to pray. All I can think it Lord, please, come soon. Wipe out the wicked, bring justice for the afflicted. Bring Peace on earth at last as you rightfully reign. Please Lord. Restore us, redeem us. I wish I was capable of more. I wish I didn't freeze in the face of this. I wish I was strong enough to know how to act, how to respond to the massive oppression based upon religion, race, and gender. But it's too overwhelming for me. I don't know what to do. Sharing on social media seems so .... trivial compared to the colossal problems. But that's what I know how to do. So I share links and hit "reblog" and "like" and "upvote." And I hate that that's all I do. All I can do is pray. Rachel Fruit and Labor |
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