I got a card from my manager at work. I need to share this with all of you. You'll love it: Oh, what a nice card What's that? He's praising me for something? Oh, that's right. He's praising me FOR MY ABILITY TO STAY POSITIVE. POSITIVE. I hope you have all enjoyed this humorous interlude as much as I have.
Rachel Fruit and Labor
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"For I know the plan I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." If you're a Christian, chances are you fall into one of two camps regarding the above verse:
1. You cross-stitch that bad boy onto every wayward throw pillow you can find. You put it on bookmarks and give them to all your friends. You write it across your mirror with a dry-erase marker. This is the nuclear bomb of Biblical encouragement, and there's no reason not to drop it. 2. Every time you see this verse, you immediately scream "CONTEXT!" and proceed to tell everyone how this was actually not told to an individual, but rather to the collective Israel. And, it was actually about suffering, so all your throw pillows are really telling the story of exile under the Babylonians. Good thing you were there to correct everyone's misuse of Scripture, putting an end to that encouragement. Well, I actually heard a sermon on Jeremiah 29:4-11 today. I've never heard someone preach on those verses, and it was a welcome change. The pastor didn't fall into either of those categories-- he actually fell into both. He talked about how the Israelites were exiled. He talked about how, in those verses, God says He is the one who exiled them. Some of the Israelites were probably angry with God-- they likely felt as though they trusted Him, and He had betrayed their trust. "You were supposed to protect us! How can we trust you anymore?" Others were angry at the Babylonians, at Nebuchadnezzar, at those they perceived had put them here. Both groups were missing the point-- that God was the one who allowed this to happen, in order that he might refine their hearts. He talked about how, though they were exiled, God commanded Israel to buy houses, plant gardens, marry, have kids-- essentially put down root because their exile was going to last for a long time. In fact, it ended up lasting 70 years. He pointed out how God told the Israelites, God's chosen, holy, and set-apart people, to settle in Babylonia and pray on behalf of the Godless city where they lived. And God promised that all of this was part of His plan. He promised that some day, He would come for them, but that day was far away. They needed to trust Him, because His ultimate plan was to prosper them. In the midst of their feelings of betrayal, God told them to trust Him. Instead of focusing on how to get out of Babylon, He wanted them to focus on His plan for them, and this city. I managed not to cry at church last week (for the first time in a few months). There goes my streak. Because yes, that's exactly how I feel. I feel like God called me to IV staff, and even though I was scared I followed. I trusted Him to come through for me. Instead, I feel like he has abandoned me, sending me into exile on the other side of the state. I feel cut off from my spiritual family, ignored by most of my dearest friends and mentors-- I've lost track of just how many have said something to the extent of "Sorry I've been distant. I'll try to do better!" and then.... not. I want to be angry at them. I want to blame them, like Israel blamed the Babylonians. But God is the one who is allowing this. I don't want to put down roots here, regardless of the fact that I concluded a short while ago that I would have to. I don't want to get a new job at a bank or something; I want to do my ministry full time. I don't want to live in this house and pray for my family because I'm so tired of praying for people who I know love me, but cannot fully understand me and so question everything I'm pursuing. In short, I don't want to see what God's doing in my heart right now because it's painful and I hate it. And I'm torn, because I do honestly desire holiness. I want the LORD to refine me. I want this above all else. But in the thick of it, there are days when I think I can't handle it anymore and I'd rather give up. I understand why few enter by the narrow gate; because the road up ahead is marked with sharp daggers and flames.* Because the precision work God does in our hearts is painful in ways that force us to decide. This is why there is no way to be halfway a Christian-- either you allow God to carve out the cancerous growths in your heart no matter the pain, or you leave. I'm not leaving. I hope my exile doesn't last 70 years. I hope God can help me align my heart to His will instead, that my hidden idols will be exposed and excised. I hope can learn not to hate this. Rachel Fruit and Labor *direct quote from The Thrill of the Fall, by The Reign of Kindo. You thought you read a post from me where I didn't mention them, didn't you? Wrong. |
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